In the past, recycling used to be the province of the fringe element – you know, the same kind of people who eat tofu, wear rope sandals and smoke weird-smelling cigarettes. However, it has since become more respectable, and perfectly normal people are actually paying attention these days. Recycling, in these tough economic times, has come to mean more than separating your paper and plastic – it also encompasses reusing and re-purposing everyday items. (And you thought you were done with your ex.) Here are the top 5 reasons to recycle.
1. Making room for more junk. Everyone knows the one with the most junk wins. Recycling those ice skates, clothes that no longer cover your fat ass and kitchen gadgets given to you for special occasions when you really wanted jewelry makes more room for…kitchen gadgets given to you when you really wanted jewelry.
2. It makes the trash man’s job more interesting. Let’s face it, hauling garbage and mindlessly throwing it in back of a truck has got to be pretty boring. Introduce the concept of recycling, and the trash man has to pay attention to what he’s doing, which has to make this job a lot more interesting. Probably frustrating, too, but why should he get all the fun?
3. It gives the government something to distract the public from the economy. Not like the government needs shiny things to distract it from the economic concerns of most people, but by focusing on the “greenhouse effect” and the perils of not re-using all those plastic bottles and beer cans politicians can seem like they’re doing something productive rather than looking like ineffective blowhards getting a paycheck for nothing.
4. Recycling makes you feel like you’re making a difference. We all want to feel good about ourselves. There’s nothing like recycling to make you feel self-righteous about “saving the environment” or “reducing the carbon footprint”. Surely recycling newspapers will save the rainforests and offset purchasing that 62” HD TV, right?
5. Keeping Mother Nature happy. Because when Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy. While intellectuals everywhere debate the greenhouse effect and just what the hell is going on with deforestation and the effects of noxious oil spills, we all want Mama Nature to be happy. Because when she gets pissed off, people die. Just to be safe, it’s probably best to keep the paper and plastic separate.
