Break ups are never easy, and neither is the decision-making process. Actually, relationships aren’t that easy, either. Being single and being attached both have their sets of advantages and disadvantages, but if any of the below apply to your particular situation, run, don’t walk out the door. You could have a lot more on the line than you realize.
Here are the top 5 reasons you should break up with your girl:
- She has no friends. Honestly, where do you think she’s going to be spending all her time and attention? No, getting her a cat isn’t going to solve this particular problem. If your girl doesn’t have any other friends, she’s going to be shoved so far up your butt you won’t be able to squeeze out so much as a fart, much less get some time AWAY. Think about it.
- She grows facial hair faster and better than you do. Some guys don’t mind facial hair on their women, but if she grows it faster and better than you do, you might want to do a little exploring to find out why. Maybe there’s something more going on “down under” than you think. Better yet, don’t explore. Just get rid of her, especially if you catch her peeing standing up.
- Her mother looks like the Balrog from Tolkien. Sure, your girl might look like a supermodel now, but take a good look at her mother. That will be your girl in twenty years. Could you sleep with that? If her mother looks like the Balrog, you can pretty much count on your girl morphing into…that – it’s in her genes. Get out now while you still can.
- She doesn’t appreciate nor understand the awesomeness of Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris is the most awesome thing on the planet. There is no competition, no comparison and no denying it. If she can’t appreciate this fact, you have much deeper problems than anyone but Chuck Norris can help you with.
- She thinks jokes about cutting off men’s peens are hilarious. Really? Really?? You really have to question the mind-set of a woman who finds anything having to do with cutting off the precious peen is in the least bit funny. Break up with her immediately. If you don’t, you’ll have to resort to not keeping sharp implements in the house and never, ever falling asleep in the same bed.
