There’s nothing like the Christmas holidays to give you the warm fuzzies. Oh wait, that’s bourbon.
Unlike bourbon or a fine wine, Christmas is full of stress and angst. Not only do you have to drag all
those tiresome decorations out of the basement, but you also have to go shopping. Out with people. In
bad weather. All in the attempt to find the perfect gift for the people you love most in your life. Oh, and
for Uncle Gilbert. Nobody likes him, but you give him a gift anyway, in case he has money to leave
you when he dies.
Well, instead of heading into the Out and fighting the crowds, we thought we’d bring to you some
unusual gifts which will really make an impression on your loved ones. What kind of impression is up
for debate, but you definitely will get some attention with these beauties.
1. Ah, the Christmas tree. It takes up too much room and it is a pain in the ass to decorate. Allow this
tree to take that burden away from you.
http://www.hammacher.com/publish/72376.asp?source=CJ&cm_ven=CJ&cm_ite=The+7-
Foot+Upside-Down+Pre-Lit+Christmas+Tree&cm_pla=3171&cm_cat=3171
2. For those of you who prefer not to celebrate Christmas but rather celebrate the much more
appropriate Festivus holiday, here is your Festivus pole. You are responsible for your own
Airing of Grievances.
http://www.festivuspoles.com/pages/Festivuspoles.htm
3. Since any alcohol consumed leaves the body in a certain way, it seems reasonable to have a a
dispenser similar in appearance. We’re betting Uncle Gilbert will really appreciate this gift.
http://www.baronbob.com/liquor-dispenser.htm
4. For the lady love in your life, why give her jewels when you can give her jewelry she will never
forget? We’re fairly certain this is a one of a kind gift none of her friends will have.
http://craftastrophe.net/2008/11/nothing-says-i-love-you-like-dead-tree-rat/
5. Here’s a gift sure to amuse you and horrify those annoying little rug rats at holiday time.
http://www.amazon.com/Uncle-Milton-Radio-Control-Tarantula/dp/B000EUDAWG
6. For the female cousin who always wanted to urinate standing up. Every family has a relative like
that.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000RDPCX0?ie=UTF8&tag=americaninven-
20&linkCode=xm2&camp=211189&creativeASIN=B000RDPCX0&link_code=ur2&creative=9325
7. For the other female cousin who can’t seem to keep her underpants on. This will come in handy in
several situations we can think of, and rather not.
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004A2LW6A?ie=UTF8&tag=americaninven-
20&linkCode=xm2&camp=211189&creativeASIN=B004A2LW6A&link_code=ur2&creative=9325
8. Oh, those babies. Always causing problems when you have something else to do. Our advice?
Hang ‘em on the door and go get yourself a drink from #3.
http://www.mommysentials.com/item_10/The-BabyKeeper-Basic.htm
9. Because you just can’t get enough of this woman. Sure to provide hours of entertainment and one
huge migraine.
http://www.baronbob.com/SarahPalin-talkingkeychain.htm
10. This gift will guarantee the recipient will never be caught out in the great outdoors unprepared.
Because shit happens.
http://www.kotulas.com/deals/offroad-commode
There you have it. Christmas gifts like no others. Your family will laugh, cry, and generally think
you’re crazier than an outhouse rat, but they will never forget the thoughtfulness of these special top 10
Christmas gifts.
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